No, drunk sperm still make babies.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
