Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
