So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize