so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
