I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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