Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
