i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize