It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Randomize
