The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
