please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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