If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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