I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
