I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize