I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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