I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize