Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
