We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
