he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
