I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize