Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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