So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize