Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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