Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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