She is in my trunk
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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