Non-Jews are for practice
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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