I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
