He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
