If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
