return my video game
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
