I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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