Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
