I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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