Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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