i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
