Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
