You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
