Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
