im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize