i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
