You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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