she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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