its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
where am i from again
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
