We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
