Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Randomize
