Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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