stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
