we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
