Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
