yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
