she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
3pm strippers are depressing
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
