I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
