you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize