I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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