Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
