I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I deserve to be covered in dicks
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
