so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
