the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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