Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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