the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
