iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
