I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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