Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
