I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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